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Here are some Chuck Facts I'd like visualised…
-Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
-Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
-It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Discuss…
I’m thinking the first one. The second one makes the claim that Chuck Norris can be punched, which doesn’t seem possible. Even if it’s from himself. The third assumes Chuck Norris can be controlled, which also fails to meet reality.
Done. Any other requests?
I’d like to see ‘the chief export of Chuck Norris is pain’
Hmm. That might be tricky. I’ll see what I can do.
I’m thinking Chuck at the docks with a bunch of contanters that read:
PAIN
Brought to you by Chuck Inc.
Yes. A whole container ship. The USS Pain. Or maybe the CNS Pain would be more appropriate. And Chuck would, of course, be laughing maniacally.
Done.
How about a comic for:
-Chuck norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Or a bit more risque…
-Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. (maybe it’s a picture of Chuck Norris punching a cartoon condom)
A bit more risque? That's saying a mouthful. I think the first one is a better choice
Done.
I’d like to see a comic for Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
New Norris Comic up. Check it out.
(reply to scott) Done.
Nicely done. And it looks like you actually researched or computed pi accurately on the comic too. I’m impressed. I figured you’d just throw up some random numbers.
This ain’t no low brow comic strip. This is high quality stuff. Chuck Norris only deserves the best.
I’d like to see this fact as a comic:
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
The Norris has landed…
Awesome. Although I had assumed Chuck would be telling those NASA eggheads “where’s my beer b!+h@$!”
In a way, he is. The power of a Chuck Norris stare can have the same effect.
New comic up.
New Norris. Check it out…
Chuck Norris blows, i can beat Chuck Norris in a fight any day! Yeah!
Ignorance is kung fu bliss.
How bout the mastercard one:
Nunchucks: $50
Ninja Suit: $130
Personalized Black Belt: $75
Watching Chuck Norris beat up and devour an 8 year old Cambodian Orphan: Priceless.
Hail Chuck (new comic up)
Nice work on the new comic.
Is chuck norris really human?
Well, yes and no. If you count supernatural strength and masculinity as being a human quality, then yes, he is human.
chuck norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves
while al queda flies planes into buildings, chuck norris roundhouse kicks buildings into planes
i want to see
a kid can piss his name into the snow, but chuck norris can piss his name into concrete
When chuck norris jumps in a pool he doesnt get wet, the water get chuck norrissed
I want to see
The most honorable way to die is by taking a bullet for chuck norris.
This amuses him for he is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure any disease
Chuck Norris once swallowed a whole Rubic’s cube, when he crapped it out it was solved.
count to ten. thats how log it will take chuck norris to kill you. 47 times.
chuck norris got his driving licens at 16. seconds
chuck norris got a perfect score on his SATs by simply writing chuck norris for every answer
chuck norris’s IQ can simply be expressed as a sideways 8
chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman. over the phone
yes in fact chuck norris does live in a round house
chuck norris had a heart attack. his heart lost
as a child chuck norris trick-or-treated as himself
Please is the magic word as in “Please don’t kill me.” Chuck Norris does not beleive in magic
MC Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris most certainly *can* touch this.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he doesn’t push himself up…. he pushes the earth down.
That would be a sweet comic pic.
______________________________
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris? answer: all of it.
There is no theory of evelotuion justa list of animals chuck norris allows to live!
omg, thats the best one ever!
Judt gotta say i love your work and how you make chuck norris face look so sneaky…
awsome:)
Chuck Norris created giraffes by uppercutting a horse.
i love chuck norris baby!! he is the best!!! kisses bye bye
evelotuion! OMG,thats awsome!
my favorite ones are:
Chuck Norris once lost his remote control, but maintained control by yelling at the TV between bites of his “filet o’ child”
if you had $5 and Chuck Norris had $5, Chuck Norris would have more money than you.
After a hard night partying, Chuck Norris does not throw up, Chuck throws down.
It’s been awhile (new comic up).
Another one up.
…and another. I just realized that I had this one sitting around for awhile. I’m not sure why I never put it up. Maybe because this is the first one without Chuck Norris actually in the comic!?!
These are my favorite:
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris
Can’t touch this…oh, wait (new comic up).
chuck norris does not love raymond.
do this one: When Chuck Norris’ wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, “don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris!”
thatd be funny!
how bout this? chuck norris counted to infinity! Twice!
I like the fact that goes:
A man came into the hospital with internal, bleeding 13 broken ribs, a broken leg, a concussion, and two broken wrists claiming he needed attention because he had been attacked by chuck norris.
Scientists soon discredited his claim because no one could survive an attack from CHUCK NORRIS.
How about: the sweat from chuck norris’ beard has healing properties. maybe you could put a picture of a cut then above that is chuck norris’ beard sweating and a cut scene and a fully healed wound?
Brokeback Mountain is what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his yard.
I like that one. I’ll see what I can do
can you make somithing like:
when chuck norris makes flexions the world shake
chuck norris once kicked a horse in the face. It was hence forth known as the giraffe.
New Norris Comic up.
lol, that’s one of my favorites
1. When got said, let there be light, chuck norris said, “Say Please”
2. Chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun
best 2 ever
This one is my favorite:
-Chuck Norris must stop washing his cloth in the river, tsunamies are killing people
Hope u like it
when chuck norris jumps in the water he doesn’t get wet…the water gets chuck norris
Holy Cow! Chuck Norris Comics had an all time high viewing yesterday of 434 people. Where are you all coming from?!?!
To add one more math joke:
Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.
Chuck Norris knows 16 word that rhyme with “orange.” He also knows 34 words that rhyme with dinosaur. (impossible to draw, but I had to share it)
The best part of waking up is not Folger’s in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn’t kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a waffle iron to make waffles, he just uses a beaver’s tail.
Chuck Norris can make waffles out of pancake mix.
chuck norris’s calendar goes from march 31st to april 2nd because NOBODY fools chuck norris.
That is awesome!
How about
“Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany. ”
“Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.”
“If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. “
New comic up!
This had to be shared: http://youtube.com/watch?v=EjYv2YW6azE
That was too funny!!
chuck norris once found a baby lamb laying on the side of the road, dead. he brought it back to life, and immediately roundhouse kicked it to death. this just goes to show, that the good chuck givith, and the good chuck taketh away.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
How about Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Or Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter
Chuck Norris does not have a chin under his beard, only another fist.
Somebody once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was “Charles”. Chuck simply stared at the man till his head exploded.
chuck norris speaks brail
Two I would like to see:
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
When Chuck Norris endorsed Mike Huckabee, all other Republican candidates conceded the nomination, all Democratic candidates conceded the election, the Taliban and Al Qaeda disbanded, and France surrendered again.
I’m not a Republican, I just think its funny.
Chuck Norris doesn’t climb mountains… they get out of the way.
Do you know the answer? (new Norris)
Burma is a war zone (new Norris).
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door!
I updated the “Rambo vs. Norris” comic. If you have seen it before the update, you’ll know what I did. Enjoy
i’ve been shown where chuck norris lives and let me tell you, it can only be reached by helicopter,
but chuck doesn’t have one!
and this is the truth.
chuck told me.
Jesus may be the only one who can walk on water, but Chuck Norris is the only one who can swim in land.
New comic up…
Dear Congress: If you don’t get us more oil I will personally stomp each and every one of you headfirst into the ground in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge. Love, Chuck Norris
Ha! That’s great…
New comic up.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What’s that? You say there’s no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn’t think so either.
Heh. Chuck Norris doesn’t breath… he just likes to hold air captive.
These are great. How about:
1) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard . . . only another fist.
2) Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the earth and punch himself in the back of the head.
3) Chuck Norris doesn’t do “push-ups.” He pushes the earth down.
Seems those might be good candidates for some basic animations. Keep up the great work – I had a lot of great laughs even though I had read all of these before.
Peace.
1:jesus may walk on watter but chuck norris can swim through land
2:chuck norris can go up against a particle cannon and win
3:chuck norris is the reson britney spears is mest up
-Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird
-There is no such thing as global warmng chuck norris just got cold so he turned up the sun
-Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper. Chuck norris can beat all three at the same time
-Chuck norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives
-The manhattan project was not intended to create nuclear wqeapons; it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris round house kick
-Chuck norris can in fact eat only one lays chip
-Chuck Norris let the dogs out
-Chuck Norris is the only person to have literally beaten the odds. With his fists